Hunting for Trees

You and I went out to the Boughton tree farm today to pick our Christmas tree. Daddy had to work, but we picked it up afterwards. I'm so sad that the Boughton's are closing the farm and you will never experience this with us. Its always been our tradition to go out to the farm and pick our tree there. So it is a little special that you and I are getting to do it just ourselves for the last time. The bumpy ride on the trailer out to the field woke you up and you were kicking all over. Your kicks have gotten much stronger since Wednesday. Your bones are calcifying this week. So taht makes sense. When we went to the doctor after the sonogram, you kept kicking the fetoscope when Dr. Thompson was trying to hear your heart beating and then thump! and another. You were very active the last copule of days. My belly finally had a growth spurt last weekend. I'm really enjoying that its more obvious to others now.

Thanksgiving 2005

We had so much fun showing off your pictures today to family. Everyone thinks you look like Daddy, too! Grandma Carmen (great-grandma) said a special prayer about you. It was very touching and everyone thought we looked happy!

Second Hand

Today, at work, I could hear rumbling in my chest. I'm still couging after all this time. It seems to be worse when Kim comes into the office and I have to wonder if it has something to do with her smoking. When I called the doctor, they wanted me to be seen right away. It concerns me that they seem so urgent. It seems that they bronchitis is gone, but I need an inhaler for the asthma. They also wanted to hear your heartbeat and it sounded really good, which relieved me as well.

Oh, So Sick

This was a pretty awful Halloween. I was running a temp of 101.8 yesterday and contacted the doctor on call. She thought I have asthmatic bronchitis and wanted me to go to the ER. I hated the though of doing that, so I waited it out until Monday. My whole body hurts from coughing so much. Dr. Thompson put me on anitbiotics and cough syrup with codiene so I can finally sleep long enough to let my lungs rest. I'm worried about you, too, but doctor says you'll be just fine.

Not a Mini Van

I started feeling really sick today. So weak and tired, slight temperature. Daddy told me he had to work overtime today. When he cam home, he asked if there was anything he could do to make me feel any better. I didn't think there was. He finally talked me into following him to th egarage. I thought he was taking me to the mud room wehre the dogs were to show me something they were doing. Then he opened the door to the garage.There it was- my new car. 2004 Nissan Murano. We knew we needed a four-door now, so he surprised me. I lot it. It fits us just right.

A Little Flutter

I put our "Miracle" CD in today and put the head phones on my tummy. After a couple of minutes, I realized I was still feeling these tiny spasm like movements just under the skin and below my navel. I kept thinking I was crazy. I couldn't possibly feel you moving at 10 1/2 weeks. But it didn't stop and the more it kept going, the more sure I was. I checked the internet to see if there were others who had suspected this and there were so many. The doctor told us how my unterus is tilited up and slightly to the left which could explain how I can feel you moving so early.

First Heart Beat

We heard your heartbeat yesterday. It was so amazing! It sounded so strong and clear. I tried not to cry so the doctor wouldn't lose the connection, but it was overwhelming. Your tiny beating heart is only the size of the tip of a pen and we still heard it. The rest of the exam went just fine. I gained 2 1/2 pounds. So right on target. We even recorded the sound of your heart on our palm pilots and we've been sharing it with everyone!

First Appointment

We are scheduled for our first big appointment today. We're really excited, and I'm a little nervous, hoping everything is just as it should be. Haven't had the cramping and stretching for a few days and since I've gotten so used to that, its almost alarming when its not there. But I'm comforting myself with the fact that I'm still getting cravings. This week its been chocolate milk, yogurt, cheeses, cottage cheese, and spinach salads. Can you say calcium?? Hmmm, maybe its because your skeleton hardens this week. Well, I guess I'll be holding my breath until we know for sure that you are just right.

Fortunate News

Everyone has had the same reaction. Blessings always come with babies. It amazes me how blessed our life has been since you were conceived. We thought back and realized that the week after you began growing, Daddy was given a work van and the responsibility of running an electrical job. Then my proposal to work from home so I can be with you was approved. That day, I prayed for us to get good news about Daddy's residency. We've waited for so mnay years and this one last thing hanging over our heads would make everything perfect if it would just go away. And just like that, Daddy got the good news that same day that he had been approved you are our little miracle, and right from the beginning, you have been cloaked in good kharma and beautiful blessings. It is so amazing.

I must mention, too, some of the reactions we have been getting the last couple of days when telling all our good news. Uncle Augie was the most touching. Daddy handed him the envelope with the approval letter and when he realized what it was, his eyes shot open and he teared up. Daddy explained while he read. He got up and gave Daddy a long hug. He gave one to me too and when he started to go sit down, I took him by the shoulder and said he should wait, there was more. He looked at both of us in disbelief and when I told him "we're having a baby, too," his eyes rolled and he covered his face and then smiled, and gave us both a hug at the same time. He cried and we cried and he was elated. He thinks you are a girl. I still can't guess.

We called Aunt Tete later and when we told her we had some good news, she said "are you pregnant?" Daddy said "no.... but I did get approved." We had her on the speaker phone and she's yelling and so excited. She said she didn't want to ask about a baby but she had a dream Saturday that we had a baby girl. So then Daddy said, "well, actually, we ARE having a baby." She didn't believe us at first. Then she was crying and laughing and so excited. So I think we're up to 4 to 1 that you are a girl. I think its funny so many are predicting this early.

Some relief

Your Daddy gave me the best birthday present I've ever had. Peace of mind. He received his paperwork with his approval for permanent residence. We've been through so much for this and we almost waited even longer to have you because we have been so worried about the outcome of his application. It seems as though everything is falling into place now. I can finally relax, not living in denial that I was actually very stressed about this and didn't want any of that stress to harm you. We're so happy and it seems that you ahve brought so many blessings with you into our life. The excitement is really beginning to set in now that we don't have to live in fear of your Daddy having to leave us and these last critical weeks are coming to a close. 9 weeks now, actually, 9 1/2. Every day that passes is another victory.We love you so much already. We started sharing the news with the family this weekend. It has been so much fun. Everyone is so thrilled you are on the way!

Sweet Little Baby

Hello, sweet little baby growing inside.
I guess we're both along for a ride.
I'm excited... I'm nervous.. I'm filled with joy.
I can't help but wonder if you're a girl or boy.
It's too soon to tell, which is just as well.
I doesn't matter to me whatever you'll be.
Still, I catch myself... wishing I knew
what will you wear, pink or blue?
I am ready for you, either way.
I find myself dreaming what will we play?
Tea parties for a girl, sail boats for a boy.
As soon as I know, I'll buy you a toy.
I can't wait to tell everyone I know,
The wonderful news... should I wait til I show?
Soon you'll see how much I care,
there's so much to do, so much to share!
But first I must thank God above
for sending you, for me... to love!

Amazing News

To my shock and complete amazement, I found out from my supervisor yesterday that my proposal was approved. I will be able to stay home with you, little one, next year after you arrive! We will be busy figuring out all the details to make working from home turn out okay, but we have some time. The news is exciting, it's just hard to know where to begin planning for such a big change.

8th Week

We're in the 8th week now, at the end of the 2nd month. You are about 1/2-3/4". About the size of a lima bean. Your fingers, toes and facial features are forming. I can nap everyday for 2-3 hours if I have the time, which I rarely do. We have a lot going on this week. I just got home from a long business trip and now they're wanting us to do more overtime, plus I have a huge corporate project that will be reviewed at the end of the week. Our refinance is going on with the house, I'm starting my spanish class and I will have Erikka for two hours. On top of all of this, we're trying to get ready for my birthday party on Saturday. Whew.

We told Nana Coco about you last Sunday, Grandparents Day. She cried and was so excited. Hopefully, she can keep our secret for a week so we can tell everyone at the party. Then we'll go to Great Grandma's for lunch next Sunday to spread the news.

You sure are growing and Mommy's tummy is starting to stretch. My tighter clothes don't fit anymore, especially if I eat, they're so uncomfortable. I bought some clothes this weekend and they're sooo much better!!

Miracle

You're my life's one miracle
Everything I've done that's good
And you break my heart with tenderness
And I confess it's true
I never knew a love like this 'til you

You're the reason I was born
Now I finally know for sure
And I'm overwhelmed with happiness
So blessed to hold you close
The one that I love most
Though the future has so much for you in store
Who could ever love you more

The nearest thing to heaven
You're my angel from above
Only God creates such perfect love

When you smile at me I cry
And to save your life I'd die
With a romance that is pure in heart
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires
I live for your desires
Forget my own, your needs will come before
Who could ever love you more

There is nothing you could ever do
To make me stop loving you
And every breath I take
Is always for your sake
You sleep inside my dreams
And know for sure
Who could ever love you more

—by Linda Thompson

....This is one of the songs I sing to you every day on the way to and from work.

In the Nursery

Since we don't know if you will be a girl or a boy, we are decorating the nursery in a fairly neutral theme. Its a "sleepy theme" using teddy bears, baby sheep, suns, moons, stars and soft buttery yellow and sweet aqua blue. I had a very clear vision for the room and drew out sketches so that Daddy could help me and it's really coming together. I'm so excited!

5th Week

Today is the last day of the 5th week. you are now 3 weeks old and about 1/4" in length. Your heart is already beating, and your skeleton is forming. Little tiny buds have formed that will soon be your arms. And I wonder what you will be like, who you will look like and what traits Daddy and I will have given you. I'm already falling in love with you, even though sometimes it still feels like I'm walking through a dream outside of my body. It's hard to realize this is actually all really happening.

First OB appt

I had my first appointment at the doctor's office, just to meet the nurse and fill out paperwork. Some things she told me to remember... no lifting over 25 pounds, no sushi, cramping is totally
normal, keep heartrate below 140 if excercising. I'm 1/2" shorter than I was 2 years ago and I haven't gained any weight —yet.

I met with my superviser today to give him my proposal for a flexible work schedule. He was very encouraging, but we stand up to many challenges with the other people in the department and upper management. I'm not to hopeful.

Well, I've done my first hugely bonehead-preggers-brain dead thing. This is a funny story...
At work today, there was an issue with a photo a school had sent in for their cover. In a nut shell, I was trying to explain to a consultant what the problem was by email, using a "screenshot" of the cover to illustrate my point. I dragged the screenshot from my desktop to the email and sent it. The consultant came to my office just a few minutes laster and I asked if he received it. He said yes, but I don't know what it is. I kept asking about the photo details, etc. He finally asked me to bring up what I sent to him. When I pulled up the sent email —I was mortified. There, staring back at me, was an illustration of a 3 1/2 week old fetus - the screenshot I had taken earlier on my break to show your daddy. I apologized all over myself, without really explaining why he received that. I pulled up the cover an he said, "yeah, send that one to me." I was so embarrassed. I explained to him later, in the correct email that I had been working so fast I pulled off the older image before teh new screenshot had saved to the desktop. Totally true.

Yikes, I hope stuff like that won't be happening all the time! Kim laughed so hard she was crying. And Daddy thinks I'm funny. I think I'm going crazy!

Expecting a Baby

I just found out, its no longer a maybe,
I'm now expecting a sweet little baby!
I am so very excited its so wonderful for me,
I'm just amazed to know I'm now a mommy-to-be!

There are books to read to answer my concerns,
It's sure a good thing God gave us nine months to learn!
I will always remember the moment I first knew,
The excitement that I felt learning it was true!

An awesome job I've been given, to welcome a little one here,
to bring to this world, more love and good cheer!
I just found out it's no longer a maybe.
I'm going to be blessed with a precious little baby!

Shhhh....

We're trying to keep a lid on our news until my 30th birthday party next month. We want to try to tell everyone all at once. But we've let a few people in on our secret. Kim, my office-mate, burst into tears. Kristina, one of my dearest friends, was very happy for us. Uncle Calvin stopped on his way through town and I thought it would be nice to tell him inperson, but didn't know when we would see him again. So we decided to tell him. He was so excited and couldn't stop smiling. He said he knew I would be an awesome mother, there was no question about it for him, despite any reservations that I had. I thought that was very kind. After we ate with him, Daddy and I went to Toys R Us and I found a mobile for your crib that I love. Boyd's Bears in pajamas! Daddy bought it and it was the first thing he ever bough for you. We went home and worked on the built-in shelves for your room. I have finished the large painted areas and I'm ready to start on the stars on the ceiling of the sun and moon stencils. It's so exciting to see it coming together. It's hard to stop thinking about you now. It's going to be hard to be patient until you arrive.


I'm going to try to take a photo every month until you're born. I know it doesn't look like much now, but there is a little pooch there and I'm super excited about that!!

Is this real? I'm going to be a MOMMY!

It's.......
Positive! Positive! POSITIVE!!!!

I took the test and it turned positive right away. I thought I was seeing things since I had just woken up and had a hard time focusing. I couldn't believe it. A miracle is occurring right now. Right now. I thanked God and then pulled myself together. I didn't want to tell your Daddy until I could do it just right tonight.

I got home from work just as Daddy was getting in the shower. Perfect, just enough time. I packed a picnic basket, wrapped his gifts —a beautiful poem, matted and framed along with a book titled How to Be a Pregnant Father and added a yellow ribbon and the positive test and hid it in the trunk. I put some sparkling grape juice on ice, grabbed the cameras and a quilt just as Daddy was getting out of the shower. I took him to get sub sandwiches and headed for the Botanical Gardens at Lake Shawnee. He had no idea where we were going. Before I let him open anything, I laid on the quilt that we had put out next to a bubbling creek amongst flowers and a view of the lake. He kissed me and I told him I loved him. When he said "I love you, too," I said, "I'm glad because we're having a baby." He kept asking me if I was serious, as if I'd go to so much trouble to play an awful joke on him. But it finally sank in and we hugged and kissed some more. After we ate, we walked around the gardens and talked. Daddy couldn't wait to tell someone, so we went Alex and Nichole's —Wow. We're having a baby!

Lab Results

Progesterone levels are really high, the infertility specialist tells me. She says if we don't get pregnant this month, it should definitely happen next month. That is encouraging. I've been craving spicy food at lunch and dinner. The hotter the better. No heartburn though. Using the restroom a lot more, about every two hours. I think I'm going to test tomorrow, see if something turns up. I feel like I'm going crazy with all these suspicious symptoms. I'll just die if this is all in my head!

Lab Tests

I had my blood test today to check my progesterone levels and see if the clomid is working. Have been tired the last few days and my chest is achy. I keep having little headaches and light-headedness. I wore high heels yesterday and my ankles feel like my ligaments have gone soft. I'm actually concerned about wearing them now. So, I'm having all kinds of symptoms, but of course, its too early to test and I'm afraid, at this point, with us wanting a baby so much, that I'm putting these symptoms in my head.

High Hopes

I had strange cramps all day. Hate to read into anything and get our hopes up, the fall is so much farther then.

The waiting is the hardest part.

It Would be a Miracle....

It will truly be a miracle if we can conceive this week. With traveling for work at the beginning of the week, and National Night Out at the end of the week, we'll have a very small window of opportunity, and with so much going on...

This was my first cycle of clomid, and thankfully I haven't had any side effects. Not that I would care if I did.

We've waited so long for a baby, hoping to be completely ready, and then waited so much longer unsuccessfully, and now we're finally trying to get some help, which takes even more patience. All we can do is hope at this point.... and (hopefully) wait only a little longer....